Timelines and Other Pies in the Sky
I was re-reading my old posts to figure out what i've weighed and when, because i can't really figure out how long it's taken me to get to where i am today: 257.
I shouldn't be surprised...i've long had a problem with accountability and being honest about numbers, because when they go up i feel ashamed and ultimately feel like it would be better if i hadn't said anything at all. Not so convenient, however, when one is trying to track back.
According to what i've written here, i never really went about 270, when the reality is that by the end of the summer i was up around 287, just not happy enough to write a post about it.
And timelines are tricky things...on one hand it's good to have a weightloss goal with a timeline attached, but for me, i know it just doesn't work that way. If i put too much pressure on myself, i ultimately can't stand the pressure and rebel (rebel=binge). I know that this process is lifelong, because if i'm not 'on plan' my weight goes up. It's been like that since i was 16, so i don't expect that to change anytime soon.
Don't get me wrong, i've got a wedding coming up in september that i'd love to be 200 pounds for. When i do the math i'd have to lose about 8 pounds a month or 2 pounds a week. However, i KNOW my body doesn't lose weight at a normal rate and for me to be guaranteed to lose that weight, i'd have to employ a highly reduced caloric intake approach. Plus it will make it difficult with my dress. What size do i buy? One that fits me now, one that assumes weight loss? One that assumes 200#? A style that can be let in or out as required? Seriously, i have no idea...
Anyway, the wedding makes it more pressure than ever, and all i can do with that is acknowledge that the pressure is there and do the best i can, every moment of every day.
I shouldn't be surprised...i've long had a problem with accountability and being honest about numbers, because when they go up i feel ashamed and ultimately feel like it would be better if i hadn't said anything at all. Not so convenient, however, when one is trying to track back.
According to what i've written here, i never really went about 270, when the reality is that by the end of the summer i was up around 287, just not happy enough to write a post about it.
And timelines are tricky things...on one hand it's good to have a weightloss goal with a timeline attached, but for me, i know it just doesn't work that way. If i put too much pressure on myself, i ultimately can't stand the pressure and rebel (rebel=binge). I know that this process is lifelong, because if i'm not 'on plan' my weight goes up. It's been like that since i was 16, so i don't expect that to change anytime soon.
Don't get me wrong, i've got a wedding coming up in september that i'd love to be 200 pounds for. When i do the math i'd have to lose about 8 pounds a month or 2 pounds a week. However, i KNOW my body doesn't lose weight at a normal rate and for me to be guaranteed to lose that weight, i'd have to employ a highly reduced caloric intake approach. Plus it will make it difficult with my dress. What size do i buy? One that fits me now, one that assumes weight loss? One that assumes 200#? A style that can be let in or out as required? Seriously, i have no idea...
Anyway, the wedding makes it more pressure than ever, and all i can do with that is acknowledge that the pressure is there and do the best i can, every moment of every day.
posted by Saffy @ 8:21 AM
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