Inching Away From the Plateau

On the weekend i found myself at the big girl store looking for clothes. I'm reticent to buy clothes these days, because i have lots of loose 3x/size 24 clothes and yet, whenever i go to buy new stuff, the smaller sizes are so embarrasingly small, i feel silly for even bringing them into the fitting room. This place had spring coats on sale, and of course by the time i get there there's a lousy selection of both styles and sizes. I found a nice black business coat with some cool white stiching on the collar, but no there were no 24s left. There was a 22 and i decided to try it on and risk the embarrasment. Lo and behold it fit. I could even do the buttons up, and it didn't "pull at the rear" as my mother would say. Once i was standing in the three way mirror, with this snappy coat on, all buttoned up i didn't want to take it off. It was a size smaller than the size i've been buying for the past 10 years (there was an 8 months blip in there when i steadily decresed to a 20, but then i was up to a 24/26 within another 6 months).

With the 22 coat fitting, my courage was buoyed and i even tried on some 2x workout pants, and they looked great. Then i decided to push my luck thinking there would be no way i would be three times lucky, and i tried on a hoodie in a 2x. It fit! Score again. Needless to say i ended up spending $300, because i was just so damn ecstatic to be buying a smaller size. Of course, i also bought 2 t-shirts that were a 3x, but i don't like my t-shirts tight, and they fit in the shoulders, so i didn't feel too bad about that.

It's amazing how excited i can get by little things like dropping a size, but really i'm more excited about what this represents. I have been suffering through a very long plateau that was first caused by my whacked out metabolism, but was then continued because i was depressed that i was doing all the right eating and exercise things and not losing, and i was eating too much crap (high calorie, low nutrition food). I really feel like i was getting to a place where i was going to give up and head back to the old way of eating. I think really the only thing i kept up without fail was the exercise. I stayed pretty regular, 4-5 days a week of cardio, 2 days of weights. This may have just been my saving grace.

There's also the OA (Overeaters Anonymous) element to my foodplan, which i have to acknowledge had *something to do with my sticking to it. Whether i'm eating good food or bad food, i'm only eating three meals a day with two optional snacks (which is my defined abstinence). Having that backstop keeps from spontaneously deciding that i can eat one of those free leftover sandwiches in the boardroom, or stop for a snack because i'm hungry and it's big mac tuesday. I've continued my 2-3 meetings a week, and daily contact with other complusive overeaters who have a desire to stop. I find that support with accountability (in that order) helps me tremendously.

So, i'm not really sure if i'm going to start losing again, but i'm feeling pretty good today. The fact that i know my efforts are helping me get smaller and healthier, even if only the slightest of measurable ways, is enough for me to stay the course. I also know that feeling this good, is leading me to make good choices, which will only help even more. I want this feeling of renewed optimism to last with me as long as possible.