Professional Help
I was talking with a friend yesterday about those online metabolic calculators, and said that according to those i was well under the required amount to lose weight, but i wasn't. And she pointed out the obvious - those things are for the average person, and my metabolism and dietary requirements are anything but average. I have both diabetes and PCOS, both conditions that mess considerably with my body's natural processing and functioning of food, particularly sugar and carbohydrates. I can be mad about this, and resentful and none of it changes the fact that i have to deal with it. My friend's advice was that i should talk to my doctor, to get a "professional opinion."
So, this morning i did that. We talked about my food plan and exercise and about the weight i've managed to lose so far. He seemed to think it was great that i was losing slowly, through big lifestyle changes. I said to him that though i considered them to be lifestyle changes (read: long term), i found it exhausting and that i was losing my motivation. That's when the emotion started coming up. Talking about weight issues is always emotional for me (and others, i know) but i get embarrassed when i break down in front of him. It wasn't really a breakdown, but exactly one tear managed to escape from each eye, which didn't thrill me.
His advice was along the lines of 'keep doing what you're doing', 'you're doing all the right things', as well as he added what i suspect were intended to be morale-boosting remarks (You're really doing well. I think you should be proud of yourself). It's kinda what i was predicting. I was hoping he'd say he had some kind of magic solution, even though i know those don't exist. He did offer me Meridia, apparently some kind of appetite suppresant, but i turned it down. After a decade as an obese woman, i know that no appetite suppresant in the world will prevent me from eating, whether i'm hungry or feeding a feeling.
Then asked him why he'd never recommended gastric by-pass to me, and he said "You have to be morbidly obese to qualify for that." Of course, i am still morbidly obese now at my current weight, but at 338, i was the poster girl for it. I asked if the definition for mobidly obese was 100 pounds overweight, and he said that it was a BMI of 40 or greater. Then he clicks on the BMI calculator on the computer, to find out if i am. I'm smiling knowing that the last time i checked, i was in the severly obese category. His calculation confirmed that, even though he seemed surprised. I told him one of my short term goals was to slim into the "obese" category, but he didn't seem to think that was as funny as i think it is...
It's just so frustrating, and depressing. I feel like i'm doing everything right and yet, the numbers hold firm.
So, this morning i did that. We talked about my food plan and exercise and about the weight i've managed to lose so far. He seemed to think it was great that i was losing slowly, through big lifestyle changes. I said to him that though i considered them to be lifestyle changes (read: long term), i found it exhausting and that i was losing my motivation. That's when the emotion started coming up. Talking about weight issues is always emotional for me (and others, i know) but i get embarrassed when i break down in front of him. It wasn't really a breakdown, but exactly one tear managed to escape from each eye, which didn't thrill me.
His advice was along the lines of 'keep doing what you're doing', 'you're doing all the right things', as well as he added what i suspect were intended to be morale-boosting remarks (You're really doing well. I think you should be proud of yourself). It's kinda what i was predicting. I was hoping he'd say he had some kind of magic solution, even though i know those don't exist. He did offer me Meridia, apparently some kind of appetite suppresant, but i turned it down. After a decade as an obese woman, i know that no appetite suppresant in the world will prevent me from eating, whether i'm hungry or feeding a feeling.
Then asked him why he'd never recommended gastric by-pass to me, and he said "You have to be morbidly obese to qualify for that." Of course, i am still morbidly obese now at my current weight, but at 338, i was the poster girl for it. I asked if the definition for mobidly obese was 100 pounds overweight, and he said that it was a BMI of 40 or greater. Then he clicks on the BMI calculator on the computer, to find out if i am. I'm smiling knowing that the last time i checked, i was in the severly obese category. His calculation confirmed that, even though he seemed surprised. I told him one of my short term goals was to slim into the "obese" category, but he didn't seem to think that was as funny as i think it is...
It's just so frustrating, and depressing. I feel like i'm doing everything right and yet, the numbers hold firm.
posted by Saffy @ 8:06 AM
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