Gentle Slope of Indeterminate Trajectory
I am in trouble.
My foodplan is going well, and i'm still eating more veggies than seems humanly possible, a little fruit, limiting the carbs to small portions of the good stuff, and staying away from the crap i love so well (anything sugar or fat based). I'm also continuing to get to the gym, although for the past two weeks it's only been four weekdays, instead of five. Still seems like enough that a 270 pound woman should be losing weight, right? Well, given that if you are reading this you are 'my kind of people' you know where this is headed...
On average i'm still having one or two "treats" a week. Last week it was an ice cream cone and small order of french fries, this week it was a donut and a handful of jube jubes. Not enough to feel de-railed or happily self-indulgent, but just enough to keep the weight from moving anywhere. I've actually been hovering around 270 since before christmas, so it's really starting to bug me, and by 'bug' i mean frustrate me to the point where i want to give up (i'm not there yet, but i can see it on the horizon).
The exercise has not only reduced in frequency, but i am losing my drive to push myself. I have so much interalized whining going on, i am starting to feel like i am babysitting. Yikes. Instead of doing an intense 45 minutes, i'm doing a 'just get through it' 30 minutes. I'm still weight training twice a week, but it's gotten that i so loathe it, i'm not even doing a proper 30 minutes of cardio first. Today it was a paltry 20 minutes, and if i had given in to the whiny child within, it would have been 10. I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm also noticing lots of little aches and pains and creaks, which i also use as justification for not exercising. This morning the internal monologue went something like this:
"See? You're going to start to develop joint problems because you're too fat to be exercising this much. You should have lost more weight by now. Maybe you should go on some kind of protein shake fast or something. Maybe you need to take a break from the gym until you lose some more weight."
That last one's the kicker. It's like saying to myself that i should lose weight before i go on a diet... And there really are solutions to this- one of which being that i could incorporate swimming into the workout week, which won't hurt my joints at all. And if i want to lose weight i don't need to go on a protein shake fast. I need to consider further reducing my carbs and cut out the treats.
It's simple, but it's not easy...you know?
My foodplan is going well, and i'm still eating more veggies than seems humanly possible, a little fruit, limiting the carbs to small portions of the good stuff, and staying away from the crap i love so well (anything sugar or fat based). I'm also continuing to get to the gym, although for the past two weeks it's only been four weekdays, instead of five. Still seems like enough that a 270 pound woman should be losing weight, right? Well, given that if you are reading this you are 'my kind of people' you know where this is headed...
On average i'm still having one or two "treats" a week. Last week it was an ice cream cone and small order of french fries, this week it was a donut and a handful of jube jubes. Not enough to feel de-railed or happily self-indulgent, but just enough to keep the weight from moving anywhere. I've actually been hovering around 270 since before christmas, so it's really starting to bug me, and by 'bug' i mean frustrate me to the point where i want to give up (i'm not there yet, but i can see it on the horizon).
The exercise has not only reduced in frequency, but i am losing my drive to push myself. I have so much interalized whining going on, i am starting to feel like i am babysitting. Yikes. Instead of doing an intense 45 minutes, i'm doing a 'just get through it' 30 minutes. I'm still weight training twice a week, but it's gotten that i so loathe it, i'm not even doing a proper 30 minutes of cardio first. Today it was a paltry 20 minutes, and if i had given in to the whiny child within, it would have been 10. I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm also noticing lots of little aches and pains and creaks, which i also use as justification for not exercising. This morning the internal monologue went something like this:
"See? You're going to start to develop joint problems because you're too fat to be exercising this much. You should have lost more weight by now. Maybe you should go on some kind of protein shake fast or something. Maybe you need to take a break from the gym until you lose some more weight."
That last one's the kicker. It's like saying to myself that i should lose weight before i go on a diet... And there really are solutions to this- one of which being that i could incorporate swimming into the workout week, which won't hurt my joints at all. And if i want to lose weight i don't need to go on a protein shake fast. I need to consider further reducing my carbs and cut out the treats.
It's simple, but it's not easy...you know?
posted by Saffy @ 6:43 AM
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