Assumptions
Sometimes i wonder what the skinny people are thinking....
I've got a work colleague who has been showing up to the gym regularly (4-5 mornings a week) since February. She embarked on a plan she referred to as the "4 week miracle" for the sole purpose of getting more fit for a surfing vacataion. She seems to be at a healthy weight, though she has made comments in the past indicating to me that she'd like to lose some weight (whatever). So, yesterday she said to me, "so are you happy with the results of working out more regulaly?" Um....more regularly than what? I've been regular since before last summer, and certainly long before she started her 4 week miracle. I didn't really say anything and just kind of sat in stunned silence, thinking how unfortunate it was that she said that, knowing i won't feel the same way about her after making such a dumb assumption.
Then last night a friend of my partner came over and subjected us to a lengthy description of her new diet. Though it's not worth detailing here suffice it to say it involves about 800 calories a day and a 20 minute walk. She took pains to explain how anything more strenuous would build muscle (which = bad, in her nutritionist's opinion) which isn't good for weight loss. Huh? Talk about a perverse interpretation of wisdom around exercising. The part that was off-putting, however, was that this friend lectured this at us as if because it was all apparently new information for her, that it would be for us too. It was more than a little offensive to be lectured at by someone who walks and hour and 40 minutes when i am someone who exercises about 6 hours a week, and is careful to significantly elevate my heartrate each time i work out and weight train twice a week.
If i sound a little defensive, it's because I am...
I think the assumption here is clear- if you're fat, it must be because you don't know how to exercise or diet. And people make comments based on this assumption ALL THE TIME. It's bloody infuriating. I've never had a fat friend say to me something like "It's a revolutionary new diet based on reduced consumption of carbs..". More like "Yeah- i'm trying to curb the carbs too, but Mama loves the buttered toast!". When big girls talk to each other, there is a mutal understanding that we know what the latest developments in diet and nutrition are, because we follow this stuff in a way that is practically religious. Skinny people (or less dismissively, people with only a moderate amount of weight to lose) talk to us as if we musn't have a clue, which is why we are like this. In my experience, women who carry a significant amount of extra weight are much more likely to be highly knowledgeable in this area. The skinny girls don't have to be, so they read some article in cosmo and take it as gospel.
I'm sure what bugs me is not just the self-centreness of the approach but also the lack of sensitivity with which some skinny people approach this.
I've got a work colleague who has been showing up to the gym regularly (4-5 mornings a week) since February. She embarked on a plan she referred to as the "4 week miracle" for the sole purpose of getting more fit for a surfing vacataion. She seems to be at a healthy weight, though she has made comments in the past indicating to me that she'd like to lose some weight (whatever). So, yesterday she said to me, "so are you happy with the results of working out more regulaly?" Um....more regularly than what? I've been regular since before last summer, and certainly long before she started her 4 week miracle. I didn't really say anything and just kind of sat in stunned silence, thinking how unfortunate it was that she said that, knowing i won't feel the same way about her after making such a dumb assumption.
Then last night a friend of my partner came over and subjected us to a lengthy description of her new diet. Though it's not worth detailing here suffice it to say it involves about 800 calories a day and a 20 minute walk. She took pains to explain how anything more strenuous would build muscle (which = bad, in her nutritionist's opinion) which isn't good for weight loss. Huh? Talk about a perverse interpretation of wisdom around exercising. The part that was off-putting, however, was that this friend lectured this at us as if because it was all apparently new information for her, that it would be for us too. It was more than a little offensive to be lectured at by someone who walks and hour and 40 minutes when i am someone who exercises about 6 hours a week, and is careful to significantly elevate my heartrate each time i work out and weight train twice a week.
If i sound a little defensive, it's because I am...
I think the assumption here is clear- if you're fat, it must be because you don't know how to exercise or diet. And people make comments based on this assumption ALL THE TIME. It's bloody infuriating. I've never had a fat friend say to me something like "It's a revolutionary new diet based on reduced consumption of carbs..". More like "Yeah- i'm trying to curb the carbs too, but Mama loves the buttered toast!". When big girls talk to each other, there is a mutal understanding that we know what the latest developments in diet and nutrition are, because we follow this stuff in a way that is practically religious. Skinny people (or less dismissively, people with only a moderate amount of weight to lose) talk to us as if we musn't have a clue, which is why we are like this. In my experience, women who carry a significant amount of extra weight are much more likely to be highly knowledgeable in this area. The skinny girls don't have to be, so they read some article in cosmo and take it as gospel.
I'm sure what bugs me is not just the self-centreness of the approach but also the lack of sensitivity with which some skinny people approach this.
posted by Saffy @ 10:20 AM
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